Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I Weep for the Future.

So. Here's a little backstory: I've worked two jobs pretty much my entire adult life (give and take a few spurts of quoting Chapelle's "I'm rich, biatch" whenever I got a new job, and then a few months later quoting Biggie's "Mo money, mo problems"). But, I don't have credit card (or any) debt, so....I try to tell myself it's worth it. *weeps uncontrollably*

Anyway, I just got a part time at a retail store that is pretty well known as a great place to work. We're going through our training, and we discussed phones the other night. Now, listen. I've worked in all areas - retail, restaurant, beauty shop reception, corporate world reception - and I think the max that really needs to be spent discussing the phone is 5 mintutes for a high volume place, 2 minutes anywhere else.  There were two girls in training with me, one of which works in marketing at a large well-known company, who dragged it out for like 15 minutes with no less than 20 questions that included, but were not limited to:

  • "Oh, so they can ring on any of those that say 'Lines'?"
  • "Wait, so you pressed the line before you picked it up? Or after?"

and the one that almost made me go postal:
  • "Wait, so you can put it on hold and hang up the receiver without it hanging up on the call?!"
Yall. Really!? I just busted out laughing and upon the sweet, completely blank stares uttered, "...I'm sorry.....I just....I must be a dinosaur."

More blank, sad stares. I could see them thinking, "Why are you laughing? Do you think we're dumb? I thought this was a nice, team-friendly place?"

"Maybe...yall are used to cell phones...and I remember this from back in the day..."

One girl finally chimed in with, "No, I've worked with phones, and they're all different! I had one that hung up when it was on hold."

Me: "Mmmhmmm." I was reaaaally trying to hold it in. "Sure. I mean, I haven't ever heard of that, but I'm sure anything's possible."




Those were the thoughts going on in my head. These are sweet, seemingly "smart, successful" girls. They're around 25 with a degree and "good" day job. It was then I realized that I've been answering phones in a business for NINETEEN YEARS (my parents owned businesses and I started manning the phones in middle school.). And this is where my life is.... working a part time job with girls who didn't know phone lines before Monday. Not that we don't ALL ask stupid questions, but....don't most of us usually know when we're about to have to suck it up and ask something stupid?  

Sorry if that seemed more harsh than funny - it really did just amuse the crap out of me - but I'm having one of those, "I need to reevaluate my life" kind of days, and seeing people younger than me, making similar to me with snazzier titles than me showing their idiot side just.....reaaaally drives me to drink somedays, folks.

Monday, October 8, 2012

A visual of how Columbus Day makes me feel.

via, as a result of a google image search
If you're ever feeling sad for no good reason, I highly suggest looking up pictures of Kim Kardashian crying. I mean....look at that. I'm instantly cheered up! 

Columbus Day agrivates me eeeevery year.

Seriously, why, in 2012 when we know better, does this man still have a holiday? He did not discover America, nor was he a good person. I don't get it.
(Side note: I was recently introduced as, "Someone who can talk American history and celebrity gossip with equal enthusiasm." It's pretty much the best compliment I've ever received.)
Anyway, one of my favorite books is Howard Zinn’s A People's History of the United States. I don't understand why it's not mandatory reading in schools, but below are some excerpts from the very beginning of the book that get me all weepy every times.

Of the Arawak people on Hispanola, of whom estimates say there were nearly 2 million upon his arrival, Columbus wrote in his log, “They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance . . . They would make fine servants . . . With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want” (Zinn p. 1).
The Indians “are so naive and so free with their possessions that no one who has not witnessed them would believe it. When you ask for something they have, they never say no. To the contrary, they offer to share with anyone” (Zinn p. 3). In exchange for ships and supplies for a second voyage, he offered the nobility of Spain “as much gold as they need . . . and as many slaves as they ask” (Zinn p. 4).
Columbus forced all Arawaks “fourteen years or older to collect a certain amount of gold every three months. When they brought it, they were given copper tokens to hang around their necks. Indians found without a copper token had their hands cut off and bled to death” (Zinn p. 4).
“In two years, through genocide, murder, mutilation, or suicide, half of the 250,000 Indians on Haiti were dead . . . By the year 1515, there were perhaps fifty thousand Indians left. By 1550, there were five hundred. A report of the year 1650 shows none of the original Arawaks or their descendants left on the island” (Zinn p. 5).
And he has a federal holiday.